What To Do in the First Hours of Grief: Practical Steps That Help Later

Dear precious hearts,

When loss first happens, the world can feel unreal.

You may not be able to think clearly. You may feel numb, panicked, or like you are moving through water.

If you are in those first hours, I want to offer you something practical and gentle.

This is not a checklist you have to complete.

This is a set of steps that can help later, when your brain is foggy and your heart is shattered.

First, let me say this

You are not supposed to be okay. You are not supposed to be organized. You are not supposed to be strong.

Your job is to survive the next hour.

Step 1: Get one safe person with you

If there is one person you trust, call them.

Ask them to come sit with you, or stay on the phone.

Grief is heavy. You do not have to carry it alone.

If you do not have someone safe, consider calling a grief hotline, a therapist, or a community support line in your area.

Step 2: Hydrate and eat something small

Your body will burn through energy quickly in shock.

• Sip water

• Eat something simple (toast, soup, crackers, fruit)

Small is still something.

Step 3: Write down what is happening

Grief can make memory slippery.

Start a simple note on your phone or a piece of paper:

• Date and time

• Who you spoke to

• What decisions were made

• What needs to happen next

This is not because you should be productive.

It is because your brain is overwhelmed.

Step 4: If there are immediate decisions, slow them down

In the first hours, people may ask you questions you are not ready for.

It is okay to say:

• "I need a moment."

• "I cannot decide that today."

• "Can you write that down for me?"

You are allowed to take your time.

Step 5: If you can, gather a few essentials

If you are going to be away from home or hosting people, gather:

• ID and important documents

• A phone charger

• Water and snacks

• Comfortable clothes

• Any medications you need

Again, not to be perfect.

Just to make the next day a little easier.

Step 6: Protect your nervous system

Shock can make the body feel unsafe.

Try one small grounding practice:

• Put your feet on the floor

• Place your hand on your heart

• Take one slow breath

• Look around and name five things you see

Your body needs signals of safety.

Step 7: Let yourself feel what you feel during the first hours of grief

Some people cry. Some people go numb. Some people feel relief. Some people feel anger.

There is no wrong response.

Your feelings are not a moral statement.

They are a human response to loss.

A final word for your heart

If you are in the first hours of grief, please be tender with yourself.

You do not have to do everything today.

You only have to do the next small thing.

And if you need support, you are welcome to explore my offerings at Moriah the Medium.

Warmly, Moriah